When someone breaks up with you, it is a horrible sense of loss. The rejection and overwhelming feelings of hurt and anguish are unmistakable, and in the moment it's incredibly difficult to picture a future that does not include your recent ex. You may not have to. There are ways to put a breakup behind you and give you a fighting chance at getting your ex back for good. It's not an easy process, but if you move carefully you may just wind up in a healthier and long-lasting relationship that right now seems impossibly out of reach.
Step 1: Avoid the Initial Armageddon:
As tempting as the option of pitching a fit and putting up a fight of epic proportions to try and keep your breakup from happening, it's the last thing you want to do if you want another chance with your now-ex. The more you push at this particular moment, the more you'll end up pushing them away - not drawing them closer in for a second chance. While World War III may seem mere moments away, it's in your best interest to keep it at bay and keep control over your emotions. Feel free to lose it as soon as you're out of sight/earshot - but don't let your ex see your moment of weakness, and don't let them believe that you're desperate, weak or powerless.
Even though a breakup was the absolute last thing you wanted, it is imperative that you come to terms with the reality that it happened. You're not going to be able to change it by simply wishing it into oblivion. In order to get a second chance, you need to be aware that your initial reactions will have a lasting impact - and you need to keep those underlying negative emotions in check.
Step 2: Don't Put Yourself in Your Ex's Path Intentionally:
If you and your ex run in the same social circles, it may be easy to run into each other - whether you intend to or not. Your ex uses this opportunity to their advantage. They know what you're up to and they know how you're doing. They don't have to wonder if you're okay. They don't have to spend time worrying about you moving on. They don't have to imagine you with someone else, since they pretty much know what's going on in your world. Limiting this contact, therefore, can be a benefit to your side, while inhibiting theirs.
When they're no longer able to assess the situation easily, their confidence is going to start to waver. They viewed your hurt as a sign that you genuinely loved and cared for them - otherwise you wouldn't be so upset. It may sound twisted, but they're not doing it intentionally. More than likely they're not even aware that it's happening. By making your ex wonder about you, however, you've planted the seed of doubt without having to take any drastic or dramatic measures at all. If your ex wants an update, they'll have to reach out - and that means a more direct method of contact that can lead to more over time.
Step 3: Take The Time to Undergo a Makeover:
Everyone can use a makeover after a breakup, but this isn't a makeover of only physical aspects. You want to focus on a full-scope assessment of yourself, and the key to this process is going to be honesty. If you can fool yourself into avoiding potentially hurtful realizations, they will never be addressed and you will significantly limit your potential for growth. If you can bite the bullet, however, and make the commitment to be honest with yourself, you may be astounded at what you discover - and what the overall end result can be.
If you can remind your ex of the time when the two of you first started dating, when everything was new and beautiful and easy, it is also possible for them to reconnect with the feelings they used to have for you. Those feelings are a powerful motivator to reconnect and they can take an already-existing curiosity to the next level. The self-improvement process may not be an easy one. It requires a lot of hard work, and some potentially hurtful realizations. Dealing with these issues now, while you have the time and the opportunity to do something about it is much easier than trying to work on them on the fly without having a specific plan of action in place.
Step 4: Don't Pursue Them - Make them Pursue You Instead
Pursuing an ex that has ended your relationship is an almost inevitable instinct immediately following your breakup. Ideally, however, you want your ex to want to reestablish a relationship and that requires some additional patience, perseverance and dedication.
If you've stuck to your guns and avoided contacting your ex post-breakup, chances are good that they're already making an initial effort. They may send you a text out of the blue or even call you. Don't give up too soon and respond to their efforts. In order to maximize their curiosity, you need to keep them waiting - at least for a little while longer. Then they can really start to miss you and turning their attention back on you where it belongs.
It's nearly impossible to revamp a relationship if you go in blindly. Coming up with a workable and positive plan before you begin, you're ensured to keep your cool and keep the various pieces of your puzzle moving - even if it feels like you're standing still.
What To Do Next
Being dumped is never easy, but you can turn things around and win your ex back if you follow the correct techniques and exert some willpower. A good idea now would be to look at why you were dumped. If you can understand the real reasons why you were dumped then it will help you in the long run because it will give you an insight into how your ex was feeling about you and your future.
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/how-to-get-your-ex-back-follow-these-steps
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